Find out what motivated our fitness blogger to make a lifestyle change. If she can do it, you can too!
For a long time, I refused to post this old photo of me and my ex-husband. I'm not sure why. I think maybe because it illustrates just how negatively co-dependent on each other we had really become. And maybe because it is a reminder of how much pain we both suffered through in silence. Maybe because every time I look at this photo, I begin to cry. My heart fills with the pain of a love that we couldn't sustain because of the painful burdens we allowed to consume us; the pain of increasing obesity through the years, the pain of watching our marriage slowly die; the pain of losing our family, the pain of disconnection.
But as you can see, Depression, isolation and Obesity had taken its toll on both of us throughout the 18 years we were together. Neither of us spoke of the evil pink elephant haunting our home -- the WEIGHT. We were both fat. We were both miserable. We were both depressed. We were both isolated. He couldn't help me and I couldn't help him. We had lost who we were in God. We fell apart. Our bond was food and a sedentary lifestyle. On those things, we always agreed. To keep him sedated, I fed him what he wanted. To keep myself high and numb, I ate whatever I wanted and harbored food.
Then, one day, God intervened and said "ENOUGH." It was loud, and it was clear that my season had to change. I embarked on a journey to save my life, to restore my soul and to silence the depressed, obese woman I had become. When I did that, my ex-husband was not on board. Why would he want to become uncomfortable by exercising and eating clean? After all, we had both been uncomfortably comfortable being fat, lazy and stressed out together for over 11 years.
Why, he asked, was I doing this? Wasn't I fine just the way I was? Why did I want to get clean?! Who would he get high with now? Remember, our addiction was food. So now, his food buddy/wife no longer wanted to live that lifestyle of obesity and being sedentary. I tried to encourage him to get healthy with me. I begged him to walk with me. I begged him to come to the gym. I even arranged a session for him with one of the trainers at the gym. He was simply not ready then. I get it now after many years of healing and helping people get healthy. I know that you aren't ready until you're ready.
So I realized that I would have to save myself at all costs. I did it on my own with the grace of God. I saved my life. I improved my health. I became strong. I learned to run... and now I'm learning how to fly.
You can too. To anyone out there struggling with weight or mental illness in your marriages, I encourage you to get on board with your spouse and to make the decision to get healthy TOGETHER. GOD wants you both to live abundantly in health, love and prosperity. Pray together. Husbands cover and pray for your wives. Wives, lift up and encourage your husbands in prayer. Get healthy together. Cook clean meals. Prepare them together. Discuss a fitness plan of action. Join the gym and work out together. Go for long walks. Take yoga classes together. Get healthy for all those who love you.
You both deserve a better life, and a better marriage. Good health improves marriages in all ways. I hope my story has encouraged someone out there to go home and have a conversation with their spouse tonight. If I may serve you in any way, please don't hesitate to reach out to me. You have wings too... it's time to use them to fly.
Blessings always. ❤️
Please follow me on Twitter @bellafitness09 and Instagram @bellafitnessgroup!
Chaunda is the owner of The Bella Fitness Group in Lawrenceville, GA. She has lost over 115 pounds and is now a passionate Fitness Advocate, NASM Certified Personal Trainer and a professional singer. Visit her on the web at bellafitnessgroup.com.