Chances are you’ve referred to a couple as “goals,” whether it’s a celeb duo who has adorable PDA, a cute couple sweetly holding hands, or an elderly pair who have been together for what seems like forever. While we tend to admire a love that’s survived all obstacles, when do those obstacles not deserve to be endured?
On Thursday’s show, “The Real” co-hosts talked about a Madame Noire article that questioned why people idolize longstanding couples, and defended millennials for not sticking around or settling into relationships. This prompted a discussion about what “relationship goals” truly means, and why longevity doesn’t necessarily equal quality.
Jeannie commented that she idolizes “the health of a relationship.”
Tamera pointed to outdated gender roles as to why certain marriages lasted, adding that now, a “woman’s confidence and identity is not in their role in the marriage, it’s within themselves.”
Loni asked, “What’s the use in taking vows if you’re not going to make it last forever?” She understands that it's now a new day for women, and she takes marriage very seriously.
Tamera feels that women and men have to look at the deal-breakers in their marriages. “If I’m crying more than I’m actually enjoying myself and happy in a marriage, then there’s something wrong.”
As Adrienne learned from her sister, who’s been married for 20 years, “The grass in not greener on the other side. It’s where you water it.” Relationships take work!
Jeannie added that perspective is key, and that our societal definition of marriage is part of what’s destroying relationships today.
Loni also called out the prevalence of the social media posts about perfect-looking relationships and weddings, which aren’t necessarily representative of reality. “After that wedding, it’s real life, and you have to remember that.”
Adrienne shared, “Some of the best moments in life, I think, in marriage, are not what you see on the ‘gram. It’s not the pretty picture like this. It’s the moments you’ll never understand or experience.”
She went on to recognize that cute hashtags and coupled-up images aren’t what make a marriage.
Real fam, what’s your idea of real #relationshipgoals? What are your relationship deal-breakers?