Breakups are never easy, especially if you’re not the one doing the dumping, but “The Real” ladies have all the answers to help heal a broken heart.
While Jeannie is all about dragging yourself out of bed, putting on a killer outfit, a slick of red lipstick, and showing up, Adrienne says her way of dealing with past splits has been spending time by herself and self-soothing.
Ms. Love suggests talking it out with friends, but you need to put a limit on how long you can mourn the relationship.
Find out what works best for you…
Jeannie: It’s Therapeutic to Wear Something Nice and Show Up
“I remember when you go through a bad breakup, it’s so weird to wake up and all of a sudden, before your eyes even open, you remember that your heart is broken. Like, it feels so heavy you’re going to cry, right?
“But I remember growing up with breakups in my house with Mama Mai, who won’t let you suffer. She pushed open my door one time when I was like Carrie [Bradshaw] in 'Sex and the City' when Mr. Big left her at the altar. I looked like that on high definition. And Mama Mai is the type to just be like, “Get up! You don’t cry! Why you cry for? He fat anyway! He don’t have a good job! He’s stupid! You smart! Go make yourself pretty!”
“She would just yell, but at the same time... actually you do need to get up, put one leg in front of the other, and I’ll never forget this, she laid out a really colorful dress for me, and put a red lipstick down, and for some reason I just put it on and it therapeutically made me feel better because I was looking at myself in the mirror and trying to clean myself up and get it together. For women, style really helps you. I call it wearapy. It gives you a therapeutic feel to put something on and slap on a red lip.”
Adrienne: Fake It Till You Make It and Act Like Everything Is Okay
“My Papa Joe always says, ‘Better to look good than feel good.’ And I actually agree with that, because sometimes when you look better you almost are like, ‘Oh, I’m not that miserable.’ Even if your heart is broken, you just get yourself together and start going forward… it’s almost like you fake it till you make it. You act like everything is okay, and one day you wake up and you’re like, ‘Everything is okay. I’m going to be alright!’”
Loni: Turn to Friends to Take Your Mind Off the Split
“If it was a long-term relationship, I give them a little more time, but if it’s a short-term relationship, I give them, like, two weeks where I’m taking their phone calls, I’m listening to the stories… memory lane and what not.
“After the two weeks, and I don’t tell them, I just give two weeks in my mind, and if she brings it up, I’ll bring up another subject or I’ll take her out, or I’ll do something. I try to be a good friend and take their mind off the breakup.”
Jeannie: Posting a Saucy Instagram Picture Is Okay
“I’m not going to lie, if you’re posting saucy pictures of yourself on Instagram, and you’re feeling yourself and you can see that the person is really trying to win some likes, I’m like, ‘Yes girl! Like! Like! Like! You can get over him!’
Adrienne: I Like to Self-Soothe
“When I get time to be by myself, I actually find my happy. I fall in love with myself again. I find the things I enjoy doing on my own again and I remind myself I am happy just on my own, and that’s good enough.”
She added, “You have to learn how, if everything in your life is falling apart, your power is that you can make yourself happy. That you are your own happiness, and you can move on and move forward.”