The hosts of “The Real” have voiced their opinions on the topic of “struggle love,” and why women sometimes stay in relationships that aren’t good for them, but do you need to “struggle” on the road to Mr. Right?
Adrienne shouted out the old adage that you have to kiss a bunch of frogs before you get to the prince, but in her personal experience, she overlooked the “good guy” qualities her ex-boyfriend offered, because at the time, she didn’t recognize them for what they were.
She explained, “I didn’t realize that the nice things he did for me were things that others will not do for me.” It took her time to realize she appreciates the “simple” and “loving” things that come with being a good guy.
Guest co-host Yvette Nicole Brown added that it sets a bad precedent when women have to struggle in order to find a worthy love. “If you know that you’re a decent, loving woman, then you should only be seeking decent, loving men.” She also noted that we do ourselves a disservice when we normalize being mistreated.
Jeannie thinks the term “struggle love” is an irresponsible description, because it implies the other person is what’s making you struggle.
Jeannie suggested, “You need to start taking ownership for the struggle you put yourself through, because you didn’t define what you needed in the first place. And that’s why I do truly believe that life has an amazing way of repeating patterns until you get it upside your head that you need to stop doing what you’re doing to get yourself in those definitions of what struggle love is. So that being said, whatever it is that keeps happening to you... you keep picking the wrong guy, or that person’s forgetting Valentine’s Day, or you feel like you’re under what you feel like you deserve – well, then you gotta take a look at yourself and recognize what it is that you’re really looking for. What is it that you keep doing – for you to change – so you can get the love that you deserve?”
What do you think of the term “struggle love”?