Breaking up is hard to do, and saying the right thing during a breakup is definitely a struggle. Even if someone lets you down easy, words can sting and you leave you wondering what you might have done wrong... and what you could have done differently.
With the end of a relationship comes a search for closure or a need for answers, and in certain cases, a clean break with no motive or justification necessary!
“The Real” hosts weighed in on the common breakup phrase “I can’t be who you need me to be,” an expression Jeannie can get behind. “When I hear it, I’m like, ‘Okay, that works.’” Tam explained that she used a similar approach when she could no longer fully be there for a friend who needed her.
Adrienne thinks no matter what words are exchanged, the person doing the breaking up is still telling you they no longer want to be with you. “I don’t care how it’s said or what is said, at the end of the day they’re saying the exact same thing — they don’t want to be with me. And that’s good enough for me. If you don’t want to be with me, I don’t want to be with you.”
If you don’t want to be with Loni, she doesn’t need an explanation. She said, “Some people need closure." According to Loni, saying "It ain’t working out" is also another way to say something’s, well… not working.
Jeannie thinks there’s nothing wrong with saying, “It’s not me, it’s you.” That doesn’t mean someone else won’t be into who you are!
Adrienne notes that you don’t need to use cliches and corny sayings when you’re breaking up with someone, but as Jeannie points out, sometimes those lines are there to create a dead end, so the person can’t turn your words around.
Real fam, what’s your ideal breakup situation? What would like to hear that might make you feel better?