Relationships often start with a honeymoon phase – you might try a little harder with your appearance, plan romantic dates, or go the extra mile to get your partner’s attention and show them affection. What happens when you hit a point in the relationship and start acting what might be perceived as lazy?
The hosts of “The Real” discussed whether they’ve been guilty of love-life laziness, and what the definition of laziness might actually include.
For Tamera, who’s been married the longest, she blames the attitude “strictly on having kids.” She explained that she feels a little different, as she did have kids earlier in her marriage. “I felt like I was in my sweats a lot, I really didn’t care about fashion. But I thank God, and I’ve even talked about this, I thank God for you guys, because when I saw myself get dressed up here, I was like, ‘Oh, there’s still hope.’"
Tamera went on to say that she didn’t recognize herself. “Sometimes you literally look in the mirror, and you’re like, ‘Who is that?’ I know I’m better than this."
While Adam never said anything, Tamera felt she didn’t want to work on herself just for him – she wanted to do it for herself. “I don’t ever do things just to just make him happy, I want to make myself happy.”
Adrienne added that internal confidence is key. “Men always say that they find women the sexiest when that woman feels the sexiest. A guy can think you’re sexy, but if you’re insecure, and you’re uncomfortable… that moment is never going to feel sexy.”
Jeannie thinks there’s a difference between being comfortable with a man and being lazy. “When you’re lazy, you just don’t even care anymore, and there might be other reasons, like you’re prioritizing other things.”
Real fam, have you ever experienced being too comfortable in a relationship to the point where you stopped caring?