When you’re not down with choices made by your friends and family, you can either say something or keep your mouth shut. “The Better Mom” blogger wrote about how to handle being at odds with life choices of someone in your inner circle, and the ladies of “The Real” talked about whether they’ve ever been in that situation.
Loni experienced helping her mom get more active by putting her into a different type of senior living situation. “I had to change her environment so that she just wasn’t by herself. I think sometimes when you are trying to tell a person ‘hey,’ you’re trying to improve their life, sometimes you have to look at what’s happening around them and then try to change it, and that’s what I did for her.”
When it comes to stuff like this, Adrienne considers her approach “weird.” She explained, “I just feel like sometimes you gotta let them live and learn, and they might have to figure it out the hard way. I feel like unless you come and you ask me, even if I see it’s not the right thing you’re doing, I feel like it’s not my place to tell you how to live your life.”
Adrienne has seen girlfriends date guys she thinks are bad for them, but she doesn’t feel that telling them to leave him is going to do any good. While she’ll always be there to wipe their tears, she doesn’t want to be the cause of a friendship ending because she said what she thought.
Jeannie dealt with a family member who had issues with drugs, and she did everything she could to intervene, but she realized that only they could break the patterns that were reoccurring in their life. She still offers unconditional love, but when “you’re ready to make that change yourself.”
Tamera loves giving advice, and people constantly approach her for her two cents. “I’ve learned the hard way that people are going to do whatever they want to do. What I do now when I give advice... I give advice with the intention of sowing that seed, not really telling them what to do.” She can give guidance, but she can’t be the one to ultimately make decisions. She also never says “I told you so.”
For Loni, she wants real friends to tell her their feelings, regardless of what she does with the information. “At least tell me, and you let me have the choice. I’m not afraid of that.”
Real fam, do you express your disagreement to your friends, or do you let them live and learn on their own? Do you like to receive advice, or would you prefer others to mind their own business?