Taylor Swift details her history of disordered eating in the upcoming Netflix documentary “Miss Americana.”
In the revealing film, the “Shake It Off” singer says she used to “starve” herself if she ever looked “too big” in paparazzi photos.
“It’s not good for me to see pictures of myself every day,” the 30-year-old remarked. “It’s only happened a few times, and I’m not in any way proud of it, [but in the past I’ve seen] a picture of me where I feel like I looked like my tummy was too big or… someone said that I looked pregnant… and that’ll just trigger me to just starve a little bit — just stop eating.”
During her “The 1989 World Tour” in 2015, the musician’s eating habits would make her feel faint while on stage.
“I thought that I was supposed to feel like I was going to pass out at the end of a show, or in the middle of it,” she admitted.
However, the pop star now has a healthy relationship with food and recognizes how proper nutrition affects her performance.
“Now I realize, no, if you eat food, have energy, get stronger, you can do all these shows and not feel [enervated],” she said.
Swift also discussed her eating disorder in an interview with Variety published this week.
Taylor recalls a time when she was described as “pregnant” by a publication, and how that impacted her psychology.
“I remember how, when I was 18, that was the first time I was on the cover of a magazine,” she told Variety. “And the headline was like ‘Pregnant at 18?’ And it was because I had worn something that made my lower stomach look not flat. So I just registered that as a punishment.”
She continued, “And then I’d walk into a photo shoot and be in the dressing room and somebody who worked at a magazine would say, ‘Oh, wow, this is so amazing that you can fit into the sample sizes. Usually we have to make alterations to the dresses, but we can take them right off the runway and put them on you!’ And I looked at that as a pat on the head. You register that enough times, and you just start to accommodate everything towards praise and punishment, including your own body.”
Though it makes her “uncomfortable” now, Swift said “it makes sense” to discuss her eating disorder in the documentary.