“The Real” discusses a recent interview in which Selena Gomez speaks candidly about her ex-boyfriend, Justin Bieber.
Sitting down with NPR, the “Lose You to Love Me” songstress says she “was a victim to certain abuse” during her relationship with the “Sorry” singer.
When the interviewer clarified if she meant “emotional abuse,” the 27-year-old responded, “Yes.”
On Tuesday’s live episode, hosts Loni Love, Tamera Mowry-Housley, Jeannie Mai, Adrienne Houghton and Amanda Seales discussed Gomez’s remarks.
To begin, Love discussed the various ways one can be subject to emotional abuse.
“Understand what emotional abuse is. There are several ways that you know are being emotional abused. Name-calling, public embarrassment, dismissiveness, insults about your appearance," the comedian noted.
Loni also praised Selena for speaking honestly about her experiences, and how that could help fans who are going through similar situations.
“I think it’s good that she’s stepping up. I think it’s good that she’s calling it out. I would like to see her explain… how she got out of it, and I think that would really help her followers.”
Houghton echoed Love’s point and said many individuals — especially young girls — downplay the issues they face.
“To use her platform to help young girls recognize when they’re in an emotionally abusive relationship. 'Cause I think so many of us are like, ‘Maybe I’m sensitive,’” the singer/actress exclaimed, adding. “I think it would be super helpful if she could tell us, ‘Okay, this is how you know you’re in an emotionally abusive relationship.’”
Seales took it a step further and brought up the point that many of us “don’t have a lot of role models for what a good relationship and a healthy relationship looks like.”
“Sometimes we don’t even recognize it as abuse because we’re so accustomed to this dysfunction that we think that this is just us having difficulties,” the “Insecure” actress said. “And it’s like, 'No.' Sometimes it really is going way further than simply just having differences and it really is something that is abusive, and you need to exit.”
When Gomez was asked if her relationship with Bieber was “one of the harder parts” of her life, she responded, “No, because I've found the strength in it. It's dangerous to stay in a victim mentality.”
She also elaborated on his “emotional abuse,” saying, “I think that it's something that — I had to find a way to understand it as an adult. And I had to understand the choices I was making. As much as I definitely don't want to spend the rest of my life talking about this, I am really proud that I can say I feel the strongest I've ever felt and I've found a way to just walk through it with as much grace as possible.”
In September 2019, Justin wrote a lengthy note on social media, admitting he “started doing heavy drugs at 19 and abused all of my relationships.”
He continued, “I became resentful, disrespectful to women, and angry. I became distant to everyone who loved me, and I was hiding behind, a shell of a person that I had become.”
Though “it’s taken [him] years to bounce back from all these terrible decisions,” he has been “blessed” with “extraordinary people who love me for me” including wife Hailey Bieber.